Teamwork Pow wow

I avoid confrontation whenever possible.

I'm not comfortable with it, I'm always worried about saying something wrong and making the situation worse. Plus I usually don't think quick on my feet.

It's hard to avoid it when I have a coworker who constantly clashes with me and the boss calls a special meeting for just the 2 of us.

My attitude at work honestly has room for improvement lately, but overall I do my best to make my lemonade out of the ample supply of lemons I have available.

So this morning we have our little pow wow on how we can work together better as a team. Both of us have great strengths we bring to our company. Both of us have our fair share of faults. Keep in mind this conversation has been needing to happen for two years. Needlesstosay it was the most heated conversation I have even been involved in professionally.

While the other person made very valid points against me, I had my fair share to contribute to the conversation as well. The other person chose to use the "you, you, you" negative approach while I did my darndest to use "I" statements.

Nothing was really resolved other than the fact that I finally had an opportunity to voice two years worth of frustration in an appropriate setting in front of only those who needed to be involved. As a result our boss is having us meet this afternoon to discuss how we can work together better. The other person has already admitted that they think its only going to get worse since we had this discussion.

In preparation for this meeting I've made a list of my concerns (as requested by the other person) along with why these are concerns from my perspective, I have a list of things we can both work on to improve our teamwork, and I even made a short list of positive things the other person brings to the table. It was challenging, but someone has to take the first step and I value having a job enough to do so.

Our boss came to me privately and said some positive things about my growth in the company and praised my ability to hold my own during the meeting. I thanked him and he left.

Ever since then I've been shaking and fighting tears. I feel like such a weak woman that standing up for myself too that much out of me. I feel like I should be proud that not only did I successfully present my case to a tough crowd but my efforts were noticed by someone who determines my value to his company, and while I am proud of this, right now I'm just trying to breathe and get through the day without crying. ugh.

Thank goodness its a Friday and not a Monday AND B and I celebrate our first anniversary this weekend.